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| Photo by Zachary Chipps near Big Sur, CA |
Today was quite a day. Thomas and I were all ready to tackle our longest day yet (67 miles). We had a support vehicle to help carry some of our load, a good night's sleep and a hearty, carb-heavy breakfast under our belts, and what we knew was going to be some of the most beautiful scenery that California has to offer just ahead.
We began our day in Pacific Grove, climbing through town to make it to 17-Mile Drive, then onto Highway 1, where we knew we had some climbing to do, but were also inspired by what was coming...we made it most of the way to Big Sur, and just as we began crossing one of the bridges, we realized we had met our demise: consistent 35-40mph winds with gusts to 55mph. It was demoralizing. Not only because we knew we could no longer ride safely along the upcoming cliffs, but because Thomas and I had made a commitment to each other and to the cause that we would ride every mile of the stretch across the country.
My personal goals for this tour had to be set aside for the sake of what we are trying to accomplish throughout this journey, and I can't lie, it was very difficult to come to terms with. Defeat was the first thought that came into my head, but Thomas set me straight when he said, "Ya know what, bro?! This is what our creed is all about! Collaboration and Community! We work as a team, and this team is much bigger than the two of us!" (We had made it approximately 30 miles.)
We loaded up the bikes and gear into the back of Sumer's Volvo, I sunk into the back seat, and began to process what had just happened. I realized that what I had been told repeatedly by so many people is exactly true; that I need to learn to take care of myself in the process of trying to spread awareness of this epidemic of suicide. I started this journey with that goal in mind, and if you know me very well at all, you know that I'll sacrifice a lot for the sake of others. I'm so passionate about what we're doing, that my comfort and safety often come as an afterthought. However, that mentality will not get me to New York.
I watched the surreal images of the California coast pass me by through the window to my right, peering through panniers and dismantled bicycles, and the only thought that brought me any comfort was that I have a job to do right now, and maybe someday I can come back to this beautiful place and conquer these hills on my own, on my terms...but for now, it's time to RISE.
You two have faced some of the toughest journeys any person will have to deal with. As disappointed as you are, it is good to let this go! Tomorrow is a fresh day; ride on!
ReplyDeletethough i have not experienced your setbacks physically on the road to healing the loss of a loved one to suicide, i have experienced it mentally over and over and over again. i feel your drive and passion and have been looked at by my own closest friends as overdoing it with my own plights to raise awareness, maybe to them i'm just not letting go. well i will never stop doing what i do for my brother and i feel even stronger now after reading your blog and watching the videos from just the first few days of your journey that there is a reason our paths have crossed and will cross when you get to Florida. not everyone has the courage and strength physically or mentally to even think about setting out to do what you two are doing. you will make it to NY, and when you pass through Florida, you will be fully supported my friends. but you do have to take care of yourselves - i'm sure a lot of emotions are surfacing and you must be strong! keep on keeping on, you will make it back to CA to conquer that mountain sooner than you think;) ~namaste
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